Being a woman

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Ostatnia aktualizacja: 2021-03-08. Autor: Milena

A Polish singer Alicja Majewska was singing about being a woman.

A part of the lyrics was: “Being a woman – I dream of it while being a child, being a woman because women are mischievous and treacherous”. In her song, she pictured a vamp that a typical housewife from the 70s was dreaming of while performing daily household duties. I wonder how this song would be received today. With smile? As a joke? As an insult to the image and dignity of a woman? Have I gone too far? Or not necessarily?

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Around Women’s Day 2018, a photo of a board was circulating on Facebook, which completed the sentence „I want girls around the world to know that…”

Among others, there were such phrases there as „they don’t have to smile”, „they can get angry”, „they can be brave.” We are a developed society, yet stereotypes about women still exist. And yes, I know from psychology classes that stereotypes are in some sense the natural functioning of a brain, for which it is easier to work when it has schematics than when it’s trying to work out every element of reality from scratch. But we also have brains to think our own way. And to see how sad it is that we must remind the public that girls can be brave.

Boys are raised to take risk in the name of the expected reward, girls – to obey and submit.

Boys get racers as Christmas gifts, girls get Barbie dolls. And no, I don’t mind racers or Barbie dolls. But in today’s world there is no place for „drawers” that worked several thousand years ago.

Long time ago, when we were still living in caves, a man would go hunting and stay away for several days. He had to be brave and focused so that the mammoth would not ram him. He could not wonder if his beloved had already started a fire in the cave and whether their child had already said the first word, because he could pay every moment of inattention with life or, at best, lack of food for the next week.

Women, on the other hand, took care of the home and together with other women from the village dealt with offspring. They would spend a day developing social contacts and caring for each other. Caring for that million things about which the mammoth hunter had no idea. Alone, it would be difficult for them to cope with all the duties they had on their shoulders, so they formed groups. Relationships with community members and getting support required from them great communicational skills, so they learned to talk to others about all aspects of life.

Therefore, we owe evolution that men are usually more focused on goals and women more on relationships. And before I get a statement from my head from pseudo-feminists (that is, women who claim to care about gender equality, and in fact try to convince the world that women are much better than men), and maybe even real feminists, I’m in a hurry with reminder:

We have left the caves long time ago!

Evolution taught us a lot and made us find ourselves in the conditions in which we were able to live. But the conditions have changed. Our behaviour can be explained by evolution, but it cannot be justified.

Men are no longer responsible for earning money, and women are no longer responsible for ironing shirts. We’re equal. Today, both men and women work. We are all free, independent, we have the right to our own opinions and our own ideas for life. We can decide what kind of work we want to do, where we want to live, who we want to have in our circle of friends, how we want to spend our holidays, or want to have children. And yes, men can choose to make money, women can choose to iron shirts. But on condition that it is their choice.

And of course we are different.

We have different body structures, different brain structures, and different physical functions. But we coexist. Like the sun and the moon, like day and night, like black and white, like fire and water. We are different but equally valuable. We complement each other. What’s more – two opposite poles exist within one person. Which means that strength can characterize every man and every woman. The same with sensitivity. Courage. Uncertainty. And it is beautiful – that we are different, and at the same time each of us is a fullness. And he and she has the right to choose. We have been shaped by years of evolution, genes have shaped us, upbringing and the environment have shaped us. But there is still room for ourselves. For what we want.

„Girls can be strong. Girls don’t have to have a husband. Girls can climb trees”

I would add that they can decide for themselves and choose the life they like. What happiness and fulfillment gives them. If they want to be housewives – they can be. If they dream about five children – they can have them. If they want to rule a big company – let them rule. If they want to go on a journey around the world – let them start packing. If they dream of „some role in a film, some original romance” (a fragment of the mentioned song) – I wish them that. I wish that for us. I wish us a choice. An ability to disconnect ourselves from what society expects from us for a moment and think about what makes us really happy. And even if this happiness would last for a few minutes – I wish us openness to it and allow ourselves whatever we want. And a trust to ourselves, trust that we choose well. Who knows better than we do?

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